February Bout Recap!


Welcome back, everyone! While we are experiencing the coldest winter since the early days of the Reagan Administration the action in The Cell whenever the Brewcity Bruisers take over is always Hot, Hot, Hot!!!! (Bonus points if you know who sang that song). This Bout Night would be no exception. There were huge stakes as we saw a battle for the inside track to the Number 1 seed. In the first bout the battle of the unbeatens, the Crazy Eights and Shevil Knevils, and a second bout with two teams looking to avenge tough defeats last month, the Rushin’ Rollettes and Maiden Milwaukee.

Bout 1:  Crazy Eights 234 – Shevil Knevils 137

SK C8 B2

Photo Credit: Bruce Berna

At the end of the night only one team would remain unbeaten, while the other would see their dreams of a perfect season shattered. From the start it appeared the defending champs would not settle for anything other than another win. Behind the jamming of Zo-Tay, Sharkira, Latina Heat, and EmFatale the Eights won lead jammer on 9 of the first 11 jams and took a commanding 43-9 lead. If that looks familiar, well its because it is. Last month the Eights did exactly the same thing winning nine of 11 jams to start their bout against the Maidens. Could the Shevils finish the comeback the Maidens just missed on last month? It sure looked like it!!!! The Shevils looked to Insane Clown for her first jamming of the night in Jam 12 and behind the great blocking of Scooter (first bout versus her former Crazy Eight teammates), Becky the Butcher, and others, the Shevils won lead jammer and collected a cool 15-0 jam. Before the Eights could realize what hit them they were assessed 3 jammer penalties in the next 5 jams and the Shevils took advantage to take a 61-59 lead with less than 5 minutes left in the first half. Momentum was clearly in the favor of the Shevils, however as you all know, momentum in derby lasts about as long as I would at a Miley Cyrus concert. (Seriously, who would pay money to see her???) On the 2nd to last jam of the half, back to back jammer penalties by Puss N’ Boots allowed the Eights to score 25 unanswered points and take a 84-63 lead on their way to a 94-68 at the half.

After the quick halftime break allowed both teams to regroup and strategize, the second half started with Eights’ Jammer Zo-Tay in the Penalty Box, setting up a great opportunity for the Shevils to cut into the lead right off the bat. Unfortunately for the Shevils, the Eights’ blockers had other ideas. Shevils’ Jammers Bloody Cupcake and Skittle were able to take lead jammer on each of the first two jams of the half, but those crazy ninjas created walls of concrete (I thought ninjas were supposed to be sneaky? There is nothing sneaky about creating impenetrable walls. Maybe a nickname change is in order? Oh crap, I think my life was just threatened for thinking that) and the lead only dropped to 94-74. The defending champs fended off the Shevils’ best chance for a comeback and proceeded to win lead jammer on 10 of the next 11 jams to fully take control of the bout 207-96 with just over 10 minutes remaining. That run of jams was highlighted by a jam in which the foursome (can I call them that?) of The Other White Meat, Freight Train, D’Amanda Beating, and Lady Pulverizer held the Shevil jammer for 1:50 without making an initial pass all while seeing the Eights score 25 points.

With the bout all but over the last 10 minutes were rather uneventful as both teams were resigned to their fates for the night and trying new skater rotations. The final whistle blew with the Eights improving to 2-0 with a 234-137 victory. For the Shevils their record drops to 1-1 and their hopes of that coveted Number 1 seed all but gone.

Bout 2:  Maiden Milwaukee 222 – Rushin’ Rollettes 95

Bout 2 saw two teams coming off of tough losses last month and looking to come together and avoid the dreaded 0-2 start. It didn’t even take the first whistle to see how badly both teams wanted this as the Maiden’s ChaZaam was rocking a total badass pink and black mask, while the Rollettes were rocking the Russian (technically it was mostly Soviet, but I may just let that slide) Propaganda that included giant signs of Russian leaders past and present. Vladimir Putin never looked so good.


Photo Credit: Bruce Berna

Unfortunately for our buddy Vlad and the rest of the Rollettes once the bout started, the mood quickly changed. The Maidens came out firing on all cylinders winning lead jammer on the first 8 jams and opened up a 34-0 lead before the Rollettes even knew what happened. The Rollettes finally got on the scoreboard at the 19:43 mark of the half, but it came at a price. After collecting some points, Rollettes’ Jammer Frau Kapow was caught with a cutting penalty and Super Hera took full advantage to open the lead up to 57-9. The rest of the half was dominated by two major patterns, winning lead jammer helps and jammer penalties hurt (I so wish I had a more hip (do kids still use that word these days?) way to say that, but damn I’m just drawing blanks right now). Maiden’s Jammers won 16 of the 21 first half jams and the Rollettes had 6 jammer penalties. Those two stats highlight what really was a great half for the Maidens as they entered the break up 129-47.

One month ago the Maidens found themselves down by a lot at halftime and nearly completed an amazing comeback. Would they let the Rollettes come back on them now? In short, no. The Maidens picked up right where they left off and won the first two jams of the second half and never seemed in jeopardy the rest of the bout. Playing a very smart and clean bout the Maidens kept their jammers out of the penalty box (2 jammer penalties the whole bout) and never allowed the Rollettes to gain the huge jams needed to stage such a comeback. The Rollettes never gave up and showed great heart by fighting all the way to the end, but unfortunately on this night the Maidens were just too much for them. When all was said and done the Maidens kept their dreams of a Number 1 seed alive with an impressive 222-95 victory.

With the February bouts in the books the current standings look like this:

1. Crazy Eights 2-0

2t. Maiden Milwaukee 1-1

2t. Shevil Knevils 1-1

4. Rushin’ Rollettes 0-2

Everyone needs to come out to the regular season finales on Friday, March 14th as the Crazy Eights look to complete their perfect regular season versus the Rushin’ Rollettes, while both 1-1 teams look to improve their seedings as the Shevil Knevils take on Maiden Milwaukee.

And for those wondering, BONUS POINTS to those who knew Hot Hot Hot was sung by Buster Poindexter!!!

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