What You Missed at the February Bout!


Holy smokes, you guys. Bout night #2 of the 2013 Brewcity Bruisers season had it all—thunderous hits, bodacious blocks, and for the first time, INSTANT REPLAY ON HUGE HONKING SCREENS! Wanna hear more, because you blew it and missed out? Keep scrolling, derby truant...

Bout 1: Crazy 8s 176, Maiden Milwaukee 76

Last month the two-time defending champion Crazy 8s fell in mildly surprising fashion to a possibly resurgent Rushin’ Rollettes team, largely due to a rash of penalties that took the ninjas out of their usual game of aggressive contact and smart positional blocking. This month, though, they got their groove back and went with what works: packs of insurmountable black and yellow as impregnable as the Great Wall of China. The 8s had their way with the Maidens in the pack and allowed for big jams from jammers like Zo-Tay and new Indiana transplant Sorah Bones.

The Maidens didn’t help themselves much, though, as they got into the same penalty trouble that haunted the 8s last month. Jammer penalties kept the pink and black jammers firmly planted in the sin bin while the 8s blockers repeatedly ground the pack’s motion to a halt. They attempted to make the most of their power-jam opportunities by forcing the Maidens to stay close and let the 8s jammer creep past, lest they draw an intentional pack destruction penalty (a strategy that also tends to draw a ton of clockwise-blocking penalties, which is quite exciting). Before the Maidens could realize what was happening, they were looking at a 100-point deficit and an inauspicious 0-2 start to their 2013.

Bout 2: Shevil Knevils 101, Rushin’ Rollettes 77

Fun fact: in the 7-year history of the Brewcity Bruisers, the Rushin’ Rollettes had previously beaten the Shevil Knevils seven out of ten times, and each of the Shevils’ three wins have been by merely one point. Another fun fact: the Shevil Knevils have averaged 101 points in their two bouts this year! After achieving a one-point nailbiter victory last month against Maiden Milwaukee, the Shevils decided that this was the night to finally deliver what they haven’t been able to do in their team’s history—not only beat the Rollettes, but beat them convincingly. This they pulled off by skating perhaps the most complete game this intrepid derby announcer has seen the Shevils play.

The Shevils’ pack play was smart, clean, and assertive, using positional blocking to open up lanes for jammers like Skittle, Bloody Cupcake and Puss N’ Boots. The Rollettes made a game of it, though, as they always do. New Rollette sensation Chewbecca the Wrecka kept up the torrid pace she set last month (when she torched the 8s for 62 points), and a couple late powerjams gave the Rollettes a chance as they pulled within just a few points of a lead change (drink!). But the Shevils were able to pull away in the final minute and secure a hard-fought, disciplined 24-point lead.

Next Month! Can the Shevils make it a 3-0 start against the Crazy 8s, or will they jump the shark against the Black and Yellow? Will Maiden Milwaukee finally get in the win column, or will the Rollettes rebound? And who’s psyched for INTERLEAGUE DERBY at the Cell? That’s right, Brewcity is bringing you TWO action-packed nights of derby in March, with a home season bout and a Travel Team contest within two weeks of each other! Show up. Or I’ll cry or something.

–Dr. Awkward, announcer extraordinaire.

One Comment

  • Mama Killy says:

    Best game ever, great blocking Grace Killy!
    Looking forward to another 101 game or better to win.
    Go Shevils

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